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Good Will Hunting: The Director's Cut
posted by Paul on 2/15/01

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It's rare that you find a good director's cut these days. But that's just what came across my desk this morning. The original shooting script for " Good Will Hunting ". Much shorter, and less subtle, I doubt this version would have resulted in Matt Damon and Ben Affleck jumping on the stage to make complete jackasses out of themselves. But now, for the very first time, I can deliver that script. In all its hackish glory....



GOOD WILL HUNTING

INT: HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

Janitor Matt Damon is scribbling some Math equations on a blackboard. He must be a genius, because only geniuses can do difficult Math theorems. At least in the movies.

FEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBERS

Matt is a genius..

MATT DAMON
I am a misguided genius. A
reluctant hero, if you will.

Stellan Skarsgård, a professor, sees Matt scribbling on the blackboard.

STELLAN SKARSGARD
Get away from that board, Matt.
You're just a stupid janitor.

Matt flees

CUT TO: BEN AFFLECK'S HOUSE - DAY

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are at home. They are bored.

BEN AFFLECK (WITH HIS BOSTON
ACCENT)

I'll get the ca, so we can go to
the ba.

Let's do terrible accents.

MATT DAMON
Ok, but first I have to establish
my character as misguided.

BEN AFFLECK
We've established him as a genius,
right?

MATT DAMON
Yep.

BEN AFFLECK
Then, let's go out and kick some
ass.

CUT TO:
BASKETBALL COURT
- DAY

Matt, Ben and their loser friends see the guy who bullied Matt when he was a kid. Matt rushes over, and beats viciously on the guy. This establishes him as strong and manly. He's also angry and repressed. The police pull Matt from his victim. Matt strikes a cop. THIS establishes him as misguided.

CUT TO: HIGH SCHOOL - THE NEXT DAY

Professor Stellan is lecturing his class

STELLAN
Right, my super-tough math equation was solved yesterday. Confess now, receive your prize...

No-one confesses

STELLAN
Erm, ok, I see.. so none of you
guys want to be proclaimed a
genius? Whoever solved the equation
is a GENIUS. I'm going to scour the
world for said genius. In a lesser
movie, this would be the entire
plot. However, I'm an arrogant man,
and I don't believe anyone outside
of this class could solve my
theorem. MY theorem!

CUT TO: BAR -
NIGHT

Matt and his buddies are enjoying a drink. Matt sees Minnie
Driver and makes a play for her.

MATT
Hello, Minnie, you look great
tonight. Would you like to hook up
with me in a contrived and
unrealistic way?

Minnie smiles.

Help a sister out..

MINNIE
Sure, Matt. I could use the work.

Ben Affleck walks over

BEN
Yeah, my buddy here just spent some
time in the slammer. He's a rebel
type, but also a genius. I was
kinda hoping you guys could hook
up, since we've written a romance
into our script.

Just then, upper-class Woody Allen approaches.

WOODY ALLEN
Trying to court the girl, I see.
That is so passe. Been done
millions of times. Movie cliches
have no merit.

MATT
Are you finished, Woody, are were
you going to continue ripping off
Roger Ebert? I suppose you were
going to tell me about character
development, or preach to me about
plot device. Maybe, if you'd read
all of Roger's book, which I did,
since I'm a genius, you'd find out
that he's not a big fan of your
work. I believe he gives many of
your movies two thumbs down,
calling them self-indulgent and
ponderous.

WOODY ALLEN leaves, embarrassed.

MINNIE
Wow, I'm impressed. Way to rip into
old school film-making.

not your fault!

TEEN AUDIENCE
Matt really is a genius

CYNICAL AUDIENCE
Because he solved a few Math
equations, and talks really fast,
making reference to literary
figures?

TEEN AUDIENCE
No - because he wrote this script.

Matt and Minnie start dating. They do all the typical things -
tell jokes, screw, hang around with Matt's friends, go out to
eat.

CUT TO: STELLAN
SKARRSKARD'S
MIND

STELLAN'S MIND
Um, I wonder if that young loser
chap writing grafitti on the
blackboard would happen to know
who solved my precious equation.

CUT TO: MATT IN
PRISON CELL

Misguided Matt is in prison. Arrogant Stellan pays him a
visit. He finds out that Matt is misguided, and, more
shockingly, that Matt solved his precious equation.

MATT
I really loved The Waterboy. It was
a sharply perceived drama.

STELLAN
Matt, you need to see a
Psychologist. You really are
misguided.

Matt goes through a lot of Psychologists. He insults them,
and doesn't take them or their advice seriously. This
establishes Matt as smart-ass and stubborn.

STELLAN
I want you to take this seriously.
You are a genius, and I need you to
fulfill your potential. Listen, I'm
going to bring you to a therapist
who'll make you appreciate your
life. It'll keep you out of jail,
and fill this movie with psycho
babble, and pseudo-intellectual
banter. The Academy loves that.

CUT TO: ROBIN
WILLIAMS' OFFICE-
DAY

Robin is strangely subdued. Matt sits on the couch opposite
him.

ROBIN
Me, me, mi, mo. Good day, Matthew.
I'm going to talk in my strong
anglicized voice, just like I do in
all my serious movies. I'm being
serious in this movie.

MATT
Whatever. I hate your movies.

ROBIN
A critic, I see. You liked
Sandler's movies.

MATT
That was a plot device.

Matt walks over to the window, and looks at Robin's pictures.
They are posters of Robin's movies. He grabs a picture of
Robin in Flubber.

MATT
You thought this movie would be
successful? Yeah, a guy gets snot
to bounce around for ninety
minutes. That's high art.

Matt picks up the poster of Patch Adams.

MATT
Christ, what a goof.. Your stupid
clown nose and clown slippers.
Yeah, " Patch Adams ", I could see
how that'd work. Maybe, you should
stop picking your roles out of a
hat.

Robin rages over, and snatches the poster from Matt.

ROBIN
You little prick. You've known me
for ten minutes, and you think you
can tell me everything about my
career. How dare you?!!! I'm not sure
if I want to be in this movie
anymore.

CUT TO:
RESTAURANT- DAY

Robin and Stellan are discussing Matt.

ROBIN
He pissed all over my career. I'm
not sure I want to help him
anymore.

STELLAN
Well, maybe the boy isn't as
disturbed as I first thought. Be
like me, Robin. I'm successful,
because I select my roles
carefully.

ROBIN
You arrogant prick. You think
you're better than me.

STELLAN
Yes... Robin, stay in the movie.
Help Matt. There may be an Oscar in
it for you. This movie is made by
Miramax, and everyone knows they
can rig the Oscars.

Unsurprisingly, Robin stays in the movie.

CUT TO: MATT'S
HOUSE- NIGHT

Matt and Minnie are on the bed, making out.

I LOVE YOU!!

MINNIE
I love you.

Matt walks away, becoming distant.

MINNIE
I love you.

Matt leaves the house.

MINNIE
I love you.

Minnie doesn't get her reply.

TEENAGE AUDIENCE
He, like, mustn't love her.

CUT TO: ROBIN'S
OFFICE- DAY

MATT
So, I watched Mrs Doubtfire last
night.

ROBIN
Did you like it?

MATT
No, it was fucking atrocious. But Minnie did.

ROBIN
Great. You love her don't you?

MATT
I don't know. I'm misguided.

ROBIN
Well, Matthew, I'll try to be my
usual inspirational self : Laughter
is contagious.

MATT
What?

ROBIN
I mean, Carpe Diem, Mattthew. Carpe
Diem. When you're staring at the
barrel of a rifle, and you see it's
a good morning in Vietnam, you know
you have to dream. Follow your
dreams.........
There's plenty more fish in the
sea. Don't be afraid of failing,
because, if you are, you'll never
try. Everything happens for a
reason. Is it wrong to fail, or is
it wrong to murder? All I know is
that I tried, and I murdered, but
hell, at least I tried.

The audience applaud. The National anthem plays in the
background. Robin stands up, and salutes.

MATT
Thanks, Robin, you truly are an
American hero.

ROBIN
Follow your heart. Some of us are
destined to clean toilets, others
will get really flush.

MATT
I don't know Robin. It's not like
I'm ever going to win an Oscar, or
anything.

Matt winks at the camera.

ROBIN
Well, chief, you've won my heart.

MATT
I'm sorry about your career. I
think you're misunderstood. I love
your sentimentality.

ROBIN
It's not your fault.

not your fault!

MATT
I know.

ROBIN
It's not your fault.

MATT
I know.

ROBIN
It's not your fault.

Matt backs away.

MATT
I know.

Robin holds a poster of Patch Adams up to Matt. Matt cries.

MATT
I knowwwwwww!!!!!

Matt and Robin hug. This is warm and deeply poignant. Matt is
no longer misguided. Or something.

MATT
One more thing, though..

ROBIN
Yes?

MATT
Please remove your hand from my
crotch.

CUT TO: BEN
AFFLECK'S CAR-
DAY

Ben and the boys are going to pick up Matt for their daily
boozefest. Ben arrives at Matt's house. He knocks at the door
once. No answer.

BEN
Hmm, well I've given him ten
seconds. He can't be sleeping, or
even out. He must have left to
follow his dreams. Just like the
American Dream.

Ben winks at the camera.

CUT TO: ROBIN WILLIAMS' PORCH - DAY

Robin sees a letter at his front door. He picks it up and
reads it.

ROBIN ( READING THE NOTE)
"You're fired! "

Robin then sees another letter and reads it out.

Patch Adams rules all your asses

ROBIN
" Is it wrong to fail, or is it
wrong to murder? ".. Son of a bitch
stole my line.

CUT TO: BACK
ALLEY- NIGHT

The camera pans in to show a decomposing body. Poor Matt has
been killed on his way to following his dreams. Minnie
Driver probably beat the shit out of him or stabbed him with
that big jaw of hers. Either way, the Director's cut of Good
Will Hunting is not going to sit well with some audiences.

The camera pans out.

THE END

Paul
paul@whatever-dude.com