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Sleepers: The Director's Cut
posted by Paul on 2/19/01

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FADE IN:

EXT - THE BRONX - DAY

Kids are playing happily in the street.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
It was the happiest time in our lives.
We were breaking the law, and doing
crazy shit, but look at us, we were so
cute. Just look at us. Watch as we
played innocently in the street. Hold
that thought. Hold it. Frame it. I'll
be reminding you of things throughout
the movie, so don't forget how
innocent we were.

We see a small thin boy.



JASON PATRIC (V.O )
Tommy had a tough upbringing, and was
severely beaten. Feel his pain.

We see a taller boy.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
John had a girlfriend, which is no
surprise since he turns into Brad Pitt
later in the movie. Oh, he also had a
tough upbringing.

We see an Italian kid and some ordinary looking kid

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
And that's me. My dad used to beat the
shit out of my mum, and I was an altar
boy. Savor our innocence. That's my
friend who doesn't matter much. Lots
of crazy shit happened to him, but try
not to think. I'll think for you.

INT. A STEREOTYPICAL SIXTIES' DAY IN THE MOVIES

TALL KID
I'm bored. I want to do something
cool.

SMALL KID
Let's steal a hot dog stall.

ITALIAN KID
Yes, that would be neato.

The boys walk over to a vendor, steal his stall, and go
on a run.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
It was the dumbest thing we ever did..
We didn't even like hot dogs..

The vendor gives chase.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
The vendor gave chase... Shit, you can
see that already.

The boys run on with the vendor in pursuit. Soundtrack
music blares. They stop at the top of a subway exit. The
music stops. The camera slows. They drop the stall. It
falls on some poor schmuck at the bottom of the steps.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
At that moment our lives changed
forever. My career is dead. I was in
Speed 2.

INT. COURTROOM
The boys await sentence for their heinous crime

JUDGE
For the dastardly crime of dropping a
stall down steps, and accidentally
injuring someone, you are sentenced to
spend time with Kevin Bacon and other
unseemly characters. Burn in hell!!

INT. BORSTAL

The boys stand around as Kevin Bacon issues the ground
rules.

KEVIN BACON
I'm a badass prison guard. I'm going
to make your lives hell.

ITALIAN KID
You're going to make us watch Hollow
Man?

KEVIN BACON
For that little comment I'm going to
gang rape you and your friends. The
terror starts now. I want a blow job.

INT. PRISON CELL

The four boys are crying and writhing in pain.

SMALL KID
My ass is killing me...

ITALIAN KID
Me too.. He made me blow him.

ORDINARY KID
Did you swallow??

TALL KID
I did.. Clearly getting raped by Kevin
was very humilating. Let's not tell a
word of this to anyone. We'll kill the
shit later..

INT. BAR - FIFTEEN YEARS LATER

Two badasses are buying drinks. They are two of the kids
raped earlier, but you could hardly tell. They see Kevin
Bacon, pull out their guns and walk over to him.

BADASS 1
You ruined our lives, man.

BADASS 2
And now we're gonna fuck you over..



KEVIN BACON
Sounds like a great night. I'll bring
the whipped cream, you guys bring the
whips.

BADASS 1
You probably don't remember us. We're
playing the kids you raped earlier in
your life.

KEVIN BACON
Cool. Was I any good??

The badasses shoot Kevin Bacon about ten times. He dies.

AUDIENCE
Wow, Kevin Bacon is already dead.
This movie kicks ass.

EXT. SUBWAY- NIGHT

Brad Pitt and Jason Patric are talking secretively.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
This is me and Brad Pitt. We're
talking in this scene. You may not
know it, but we play the two other
kids raped earlier. The badasses were
our friends, but they got hauled in
simply because they shot a guy like
ten times. Is there any justice in
this world?

JASON PATRIC
We better get our badass friends off
this charge. Kevin Bacon was a
scumbag. Let's hatch a fiendish plan
to get them released. We can do it.
After all, I'm a journalist and you're
a lawyer, so we should have no moral
scruples.

AUDIENCE
How the hell did these schmucks got
those jobs? They were dumb as shit
when they were kids.



BRAD PITT
I agree with you, Jason. That would
make a great movie plot. That borstal
really changed all of us. I seem to
recall you were Italian when you went
in.

INT. JASON PATRIC'S JOINT- NIGHT

Robert De Niro and Minnie Driver are listening to Jason's
tales of horror.

ROBERT DE NIRO
I play a priest. Once again, I'm an
unconventioal priest. This is quite a
stretch.

MINNIE DRIVER
I'm the grown up version of Brad
Pitt's girlfriend..

JASON PATRIC
So, will you lie to the court to save
two scumbags? If you do, it'll make a
brilliant movie plot. By the way, I
love you guys.

Minnie and Robert nod in agreement.

INT. BAR

SOME OLD ITALIAN STEREOTYPE
I've been a mentor to these boys. I
want you to serve them justice

DUSTIN HOFFMAN
Ha. I am a, erm.. drunken lawyer. I
will represent the accused in this
movie.

INT. COURTROOM - NIGHT

BRAD PITT
Where were you on the night of the
murder, Father Robert?



ROBERT DE NIRO
With the scumbags.

BRAD PITT
I loved you in Taxi Driver. You're
wasted in a shitty film like this.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN
Objection, your honour!!

ROBERT DE NIRO
You know what, Brad. You're right.
This movie sucks. I deseve better than
this. You too, Dustin. We've both won
Oscars.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN
Yeah.

ROBERT DE NIRO
So let's leave. The only crime here is
that we end up in a movie like this.

ROBERT and DUSTIN leave. As ROBERT is shutting the door,
he shouts:

ROBERT DE NIRO
Good luck with your fucking movie!

JUDGE
Case dismissed.

Everyone cheers. Justice has been served.

DIRECTOR BARRY LEVINSON
What a brilliant ending. So moral.

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
And that was that. Everything wrapped
up in a nice little package. Brad got
the girl, two Oscar winners saw sense,
and I ended up in low grade movies.

AUDIENCE
What about the story?

JASON PATRIC (V.O )
Shut up.

THE END

Paul
paul@whatever-dude.com