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Second Stringers Part Two... (insert gratuitous mention of Electric Boogloo here)

posted by Dave and Paul on 11/08/01


Seeing Rocky Dennis for the very first time is not a pleasant experience - a fact not lost on the film-makers who eased him into the movie as subtly as possible. Indeed, many of "Mask"'s bit-players make this shock very evident: the shock of seeing a guy whose face is so unsightly, it prompts one young man to remark "ughh, he looks like Frankenstein or somethin' " . You can delude yourself into believing your views display open-mindedness - we'd all like to paint ourselves as wonderfully PC. "It's not what's on the outside that counts, it's what's on the inside", "Our bodies are but shells", "guys with red hair are cute" e.t.c. Just a few of the mantras we try to absorb. Sure, it is ideal to think and act in this way, but when confronted by a guy like Rocky Dennis all perspective deserts us.

I've been sent from the planet Vultran to break your plates, collect baseball cards and frighten fellow students.

Take, for instance, Mr Simms. He's a School Principal. A smart man, no doubt. You'd expect him to deal with a variety of kids - fat, thin, smart, dumb. By that logic, you'd expect him to be quite diplomatic, to be able to register appropriate emotions given the circumstances. When Rocky Dennis walks through your door, you might as well forget diplomacy. The look on Mr Simms' face is an absolute picture. He is truly horrified by what he sees before him. Well, who wouldn't be? The sweet thing about the office scene (besides Rocky pacing about like a Gorilla) is the look that remains on Mr Simms' face. He hasn't had time to let the shock sink in before Rusty is pushing him the hard sell.

It's cool how Mr Simms, although trying to be nice, attempts everything in his power to get Rocky to enroll somewhere else. He even recommends a "special school", which is cool because being ugly doesn't (in any other universe) entitle you to such privileges. Mr Simms clearly wants Rocky representing his school like the U.S Government would want Mike Tyson acting as national ambassador. When Mr Simms has to waiver and via the loopholes of "equality" and "non-discrimination", Rocky gets to go to school. But then, Mr Simms was taken in by Rusty, who convinced him that she had a lawyer by the name of B.D Higgins - Dozer!

At this point, Mr Simms isn't putting down a strong case as "cinema's brightest character". Not only has he let some cheap slapper wipe the floor with him, he's also allowed a glorified circus freak into his school - hardly a great boon for P.R. Later, Mr Simms tries to right his wrong by confronting Rocky and putting the sizzling proposition "want to work at a camp for the blind?" to him. It's a clever ploy to try to get rid of Rocky for a few months (a natural response), and when Rocky says he has to stick around for his Mom, Simms makes some small talk about Rusty being a feisty lady. The whole subtext to Mr Simms' dealings with Rocky are along the lines of "Please just go away, you stupid lion!".

There's a cool moment when Rocky and Simms are sitting in the bleachers and some athlete shouts up "I passed my Algebra, Rocky!" (or something similar) Rocky fires back "you owe me fourteen bucks!". Mr Simms has this puzzled look on his face, as though he'd rather be anywhere but here. He can't even bring himself to look at Rocky. And the glory of the character is that while he often tries to hide his disgust, it will shine through in moments like this. He just can't fathom why Rocky would be a good student and he tries to fob him off with a camp where no-one has to lay eyes on him. Crafty.



Diana’s Parents

Mom.. Dad… This is Rocky. He told me he looks like an Adonis.

Personally, I think the two characters that were completely symbolic of the overall point of the movie, were Diana’s parents. I’m sure throughout their weeks together, Diana had called home on numerous occasions raving about this wonderful guy that she had met. When her parents came to pick her up, and Diana’s calling out for Rocky to come meet them… as he approaches, the mother does a double take and then proceeds to not look in that direction hoping that what she saw was merely a figment of her imagination. Unfortunately the monstrous figure coming their way indeed was the young man their daughter had been telling them about. Now being that their daughter was blind, her parents didn’t really have to hide the disgusted look on their faces. Hell, they could have flipped him the bird and simulated sticking their fingers down their throats if they really wanted to. Instead they chose to just look at Rocky for what he was… No, not the guy who was elected best buddy at the camp elections… but the guy that looked like Kathy Griffin with an allergic reaction to some bee stings on her face.

As Paul pointed out to me…when Diana says Rocky was voted "friendliest" camper her Mom faked happiness as much as possible, but watch how intensely they want to just leave. She might as well have said "Rocky won the noble peace prize". They just see that he's ugly and can't see past that.

I can’t look… Is he gone yet?
No dear.. He’s still here. Good thing I wore my Depends today.

When Diana tells Rocky that she’d like to kiss him.. but she can’t because her parents are watching. Rocky understands not even to try and make a move because that could have caused a reaction in her parents similar to Lardass at a pie eating contest. Hey, Lardass. Chow down, wide load.

The Drug Dealer

This little baby is dusted with angel weed…

I’ll give the drug dealer in this movie one thing.. He’s a hell of a salesman. Normally most of the drug dealers I’ve ever encountered don’t have to say a word to me.. I just take the sweaty money out of my grubby hand and fork it over. No sales pitch necessary. Not only is this guy a heck of a salesman using lines like the one under the picture above.... but he knows where to hang out. His mentality is just to pretty much follow Rusty Dennis around all day and it’s pretty much a given that he’s going to make a sale at some point.

These will make you forget all about the fact that you let Sonny Bono stick his penis in you.
I’ll take’em!!!

The big drawback to the drug dealer is the way he’s dressed. He might as well be wearing a tuxedo.. That’s how much he sticks out from the people that he’s dealing to. Not too many bikers wear gold bracelets and Panama Jack hats..

Does this one really need a funny caption?

Later on in the movie, the drug dealer follows the biker gang to the carnival… where he waits for everybody else to enter the funhouse, as his opportune moment to pounce on Rusty as she goes off by herself to buy a lemonade. He comes up to her and offers her some primo stuff… and when Rusty refuses with the excuse that “she promised her kid”… he proceeds to LHFAO.. and say, “Haha!! You promised your kid. I like that. I’m gonna put that with I promised my parole officer. I promised my lawyer”. When Rusty retorts that he can put it anywhere he wants… Instead of making the easy comeback of, “Lord knows everybody else does.”… he keeps his business wits about him and says, “You know where to find me Rusty!!”, as she runs away.

Of course she knows where to find him… Chances are he’ll be lurking in her bushes later that night.

Dave - Eight year olds, dude.

Rocky Dennis Week Continues...

Part One


The Beginning




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