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All about the privileged

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Entertaining the masses since we were popping out of the womb

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What's your name?

Dave Macchia

What positions do you hold here at W-D

Owner/CEO/Power Monger

Can we call ya D-Mac?

Well considering that Jennifer Lopez just started referring to herself as J.Lo past the age of thirty. I guess, I still got a few years left of being referred to by my college nickname, without feeling like a complete jerkoff.

What are some of your fears in life?

Well, I have an intense fear of doing faux interviews with myself, which I am struggling to overcome as I type this out. I also have an intense fear that Chris Klein will become typecast as a dumb jock.

Now we've read that you are half-Italian and half-Jewish. Does that mean that Bagel Bites are your favorite food?

With pizza on a bagel, I can eat pizza anytime.

Who are your heroes in life?

Well first and foremost my parents. They taught me at an early age, that disappointment is a big part of life. Thanks for getting divorced guys… I appreciate it. Geez, take a joke. Seriously though, I love my parents. Without them I wouldn't be the uptight wiseass that stands before you today.

Name some of your favorite movies..

Well, my movie tastes range from the intellectual to the downright retarded. For example, I've recently seen Requiem for a Dream in the theater twice, while at the same time owning Troll 2 on video.

Some personal favorites would have to be: The Big Lebowski, St. Elmo's Fire, The Crow, Tombstone, Billy Madison, Kingpin, Just One of the Guys, Side-out, Red Dawn, Rocky IV, Trainspotting, Mr. Mom, Swingers, Sliding Doors, Weird Science, Revenge of the Nerds, Dead Poet's Society, Loverboy, Can't Buy Me Love… geez, I could go on and on.

Well, since you've bored us enough, please don't.

You don't have to get all snippy with me. Wow, I'm arguing with myself. Maybe my therapist was right…

So what are your ambitions in life?

To save Hollywood from the trite, mind-numbing bullshit that pass for movies these days. Everything's pretty much either a completely unabashed remake.. or a retread of an old concept. Somebody needs to stop these people.

Where might we find you on a typical weekend night?

Chances are you can find me at a bar, drinking myself into becoming a different person… either that or I'm at the hospital babysitting Celine Dion's frozen embryo. It's a tough job.. but somebody's gotta do it.

It says here that you're twenty seven years old. You look much younger though.. What do you attribute that to?

I still haven't grown into my Jewish nose. It should be happening any day now. I can't wait.

Do you resemble any celebrities?

Well… my last name kinda looks like Ralph Macchio's. Does that count?

Ummm… not really. So, what's the "Meaning of Life?"

Many people have pondered this one throughout the ages with no definitive answer. Ironically, my answer to this question can be found in the preceding sentence. Think about it.

So basically what you are saying is, the "Meaning of Life" is to try and avoid tough questions by making pseudo-philosophical statements?

Ooohhh we've got a live one here… This town needs an enema!

Quoting the Joker isn't going to get you out of answering the question…. Now if you had quoted General Zod from Superman II, that might've made me lose my train of thought….Since you didn't though, let me ask again, what do you think the "Meaning of Life" is?

Life is kinda like playing the card game, UNO. You can plan your strategy and play your cards perfectly, but the possibility of somebody throwing a Wild Card to screw up your plan is always there. The player's ability to handle the unexpected, is the key to winning the game.

So what you are saying is, "Life is like a box of UNO, you never know what you're gonna get?" How's the shrimping business doing these days?

Keep it up jackass…. Do you see the irony in the fact that I am managing to get on my own nerves?

The only irony lies in the fact that you still think people are reading this trite, BS interview…

Good point. Can we end the pain now?

Sure… Well, Dave thanks for your time… and keep up the good work. We all love you.

Hehe.. I know you do. I know you do. Stay cool.

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