When was the site conceived?
Paul: Dave and I had the idea for Whatever Dude in January 2001. The original thinking was to deliver a site which wasn't watered down, and provided fun articles on a variety of topics. This is all we wanted as far as the twisted world of the internet goes - somewhere to write and have fun writing. It's also nice to not have to answer to anyone. We can police ourselves, and now we can provide the net with our own visions of what is good. Let's just hope it's good, eh? The site debuted February 12th, 2001, and has been called such things as "LOL funny" to "crappy RipOff shite die BIZNITCH!1"- and that's just what WE'VE said.
Why Whatever Dude? Bit obscure, no?
Paul: Why not Whatever Dude? It's certainly different and not at all obvious. The expression is actually in pretty popular usage amongst frat boys the country over, and we love that demographic. You might even hear "whatever, dude" spouted on popular shows such as "Friends". And you all know how cool the characters in that show are. Especially Ross and his canine-like face.
What is the site about?
Paul: We like to focus on pop culture and all that that entails. Movies, music, TV, Dave's homosexual fantasies. Hell, even life itself. We're not restricting ourselves. We like to think we'll give you an interesting read, and something to think about. This isn't rocket science (obviously), so we're not that self-important about this. We like to give you articles and opinions that haven't been plagarized from elsewhere. That's more than can be said for other sites. Moreover, the site isn't necessarily a humor site, nor is it serious. It has more faces than Cher!
Why should I visit Whatever-Dude.com?
Paul: As Larry Flynt would say "If you don't like it, don't read it". However, if you do read Whatever-Dude.com, we promise you'll enjoy articles you rarely have access to in the popular press. And we believe that there are literate people out there, still enticed by the written word. We don't swear gratuitously (at last count, articles littered with the word "fuck", "cunt" and "fuckwit" aren't considered gratuitous), we don't offer cheap T+A to attract readers. Why's my nose growing?
We're just writing the sort of articles we ourselves would like to read. This site is designed for those people who have a couple of minutes to kill. Maybe you're bored at work, drained at college or just want something interesting to read while at home. Click in. We know how it feels. Read us, and decide for yourselves.
What else makes you different?
Paul: Well, we reply to all our e-mail (good or bad), and we'll be available occasionally on AOL Instant Messenger. We'll be accessible at all times, and we don't condescend to the readership. That has to be one of the most pathetic things in online history - "webmasters" (read: big loser heads) who develop egos and superiority complexes. We believe that the site should be about the readers, so we value your readership and all your comments. We aim to please, and we're not in this for the money. It's something which is extremely enjoyable, but there is no better feeling than being widely read. Well, there is, but we'd rather not discuss that at this time. Send us money!
Can I write for your site?
Paul: We've been deliberately strict with the hiring process, and have kept it small and tight. Two reasons:
1) We all know and like each other.
2) It's less complicated that way.
HOWEVER, if you think you're good enough, and want to contribute to Whatever-Dude.com, by all means send a writing sample to email@example.com. No guarantees that we'll hire you, but we're nice guys, so we'll certainly consider everything we're sent. Translation: We'll read your writing, and won't rule anything out.
What do you look for in prospective writers?
Great oral skills and the ability to say "yes" to any of our perverse demands! No, really, we look for writers who can be funny/interesting on a consistent level and can produce a range of articles. At the risk of sounding pompous, we just look for people who can write well and hold the interest. You have no idea how many samples we receive on a weekly basis. Here's a few simple tips:
1) You won't get hired if you can't spell, nor will we want to take on the sort of person who writes like Corky Thatcher on crack. So, if your masterplan for getting hired involves stunning prose like "Tom Cruze is a fagOrt!1 He sucks ass. Cocktail, get it?!11LOL", you're hired! No, really, keep it relatively intelligent.
2) Try to make the samples somewhat indicative of what you would normally write. Nothing is more irritating than someone sending us forty words with the qualifier "I know it sucks, but I can do better". If it sucks, don't send it our way. Give us something that will blow our hair back or at least something that will grab our interest - like naked pictures or bribe money.
3) We're not Playboy here, so hopefully this doesn't come across all pretentious, but try to make sure you OFFER us something that will enhance the site. We want fresh, new articles, not re-words of articles we've already written.
How do I link your site?
Paul: Good question, and clearly one we've invented for this increasingly tedious list of questions. You don't need to ask our permission. Just add http://www.whatever-dude.com to your links page, or you can be a doll and post it on your main page. You can be even dollier, and add one of our generic button links. It would make our hair stand on end.
I have a site. Can you link me up?
Paul: Send your site details to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll send our three pet monkeys to your site, and if they like it, we'll exchange links. Just try to be literate. Our pet monkeys don't like to corrupt their fragile little minds with tripe.
What's with the Rocky Dennis references?
Paul: Rocky had a huge head, teenage acne, a whore mother and a fairweather friend. He fell in love with a blind chick. He was brainy. He stuck tacks in maps. He said "billowy". He died because his head got too big. This is the stuff of legend, and we honestly think Rocky is an unhearlded god. Or a really ugly guy. Or both. We love him, either way.
Would you write about...?
Paul: If you'd like to make a topic suggestion, send it to email@example.com. We love you all so much. Thanks. Seriously, we do take all suggestions seriously. If there's anything you'd like to see covered on the site, let us know. However, we've covered quite a lot in our time here, so check out the archives to make sure it's not there.
I need help with my site.
Paul: That's not exactly a question.
I'm getting there, you prick. Would you help me with my site?
Paul: If we were really pricks, we'd say "go to hell", but we're not pricks..so...
E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll see what we can do.
Again, we can't make any guarantees. We actually are pretty busy with studies, life and work not related to this very enjoyable hobby.
Finally. How can I interact on this site?
Paul: Check out the forum, and post away. We read everything there, and will be sure to pop in occasionally. There are no rules about the forum. Except: don't spam, and don't try to start little feuds, or tell us how "SUCKY", "CRAPPY" or "NOT AS GOOD AS BEFORE" we are. Feuds are boring and pointless, and there's enough negativity in the world, so the internet should be sunshine and lollipops.
material presented on this page and whatever-dude.com may not be
reproduced without the permission of the writer. unless you don't tell us.
what're we gonna do, sue?.
If you think you've got what it takes to join our all-conquering staff, send a sample of your writing to email@example.com